Let's Talk Turkey: Thanksgiving FAQ About Divorce

Nov 12, 2025 | Written by: Diana N. Fredericks, Esq. | Share

Although we have previously written several articles about divorce/family law that included frequently asked questions, those FAQs seem to be quite popular.  As such, and in an effort to give thanks for all of those who seek out our services as Thanksgiving approaches, here are some updates and new answers to your questions.

1. What should I do if I receive a divorce complaint?
2. How long does it take to get divorced?
3. Can I stop child support payments if I don't get to see my kids?
4. What happens to frequent flyer miles, credit card points, or club memberships?
5. Can I date while separated?
6. Can I get my maiden name back? 

1. What should I do if I receive a divorce complaint?  Contact an attorney and have a consultation, at minimum.  Unless you are familiar with the divorce laws in New Jersey, I recommend an initial consultation with a certified and experienced matrimonial law attorney to understand your rights and obligations and to become educated on what to expect.  You are not required to have counsel, but you should at least spend an hour understanding what is being asked for in the complaint, and receive guidance on how to proceed.  The ultimate consequences of divorce can be very significant and this is not the time to assume anything. 

2. How long does it take to get divorced?  The terrible answer is that it depends.  Every case and every person is different.  Some cases can be resolved relatively quickly and amicably in a matter of a few months.  Other cases are very high conflict and can continue over a number of years.  Those are both extreme examples, and for the majority of cases, 6-12 months is a reasonable expectation. 

3. Can I stop child support payments if I don't get to see my kids? Similarly, a parent is not permitted to withhold visitation or parenting time due to a failure to pay child support or expenses.  It is really important NOT to engage in self-help and to contact an attorney for a consultation before you withhold children from visitation or child support due to a lack of parenting time.  You are likely to fare better in litigation if you come to the court with “clean hands.”  Likewise, it is important not to allow these types of behaviors to linger or go too long without seeing one’s children, which is why having counsel involved at the outset may be necessary and beneficial to preserving your rights. 

4. What happens to frequent flyer miles, credit card points, or club memberships?  These are marital assets that are subject to equitable distribution in New Jersey.  It may make sense to find out if the actual assets are divisible, which may mean contacting the carrier, credit card company, etc., to find out if miles or points can be divided and/or transferred.  Alternatively, you can inquire about the value of said assets and how they can be addressed equitably in your divorce.  These types of assets are all too often forgotten and can be of significant value or import.  These should be part of basic discovery inquiries to ensure you address same.

5. Can I date while separated? The short answer is yes, but not without thought and consultation first.  This may depend on the facts and circumstances of your particular situation and the attorney with whom you are working, so ask him/her specifically first.  If custody and parenting time are significant issues in your case, it may be something to delicately address and it may warrant discretion.  

6. Can I get my maiden name back?  This should be plead (requested) in your complaint or counterclaim for divorce and be included in your final submission to the court for the divorce.  This is done at the same time as your divorce, not prior.  This is pro forma, and the form can be found here.

Diana N. Fredericks, Esq., devotes her practice solely to family law matters.  She is a Certified Matrimonial Law Attorney and was named to the NJ Super Lawyers Rising Stars list in the practice of family law by Thomson Reuters from 2015 through 2021, to the NJ Super Lawyers list in 2023, 2024, and 2025, and to the New Leaders of the Bar list by the New Jersey Law Journal in 2015.  Contact Diana for a consultation at 908-735-5161 or via email.

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Any statements made herein are solely for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon or construed as legal advice.