Coercive Control, Domestic Violence and Divorce
Sep 4, 2026 | Written by: | Share
Nearly half of all women (46.2%) and men (42.8%) in the United States experience at least one form of coercive control by an intimate partner during their lifetime.[i]
Coercive control is an ongoing pattern of psychological, emotional, financial, or physical behavior used by one person to dominate, manipulate, and strip away the freedom and independence of another in an intimate or family relationship[ii].
Unlike a single argument or an isolated physical fight, coercive control is a cumulative, strategic system of domination. Over time, an abuser uses minor rules, constant pressure, and fear to shrink a person's world. This creates deep emotional and physical dependence, making it very difficult for the victim to leave or ask for help.[iii]
Some examples of coercive control are:
- Isolation: cutting you off from friends, family members, or outside support systems.
- Micromanagement: dictating your daily routine, what you wear, what you eat, or where you go.
- Financial Abuse: limiting your access to money, preventing you from working, or controlling all household spending[iv].
- Monitoring and Tracking: constantly checking your phone, reading your messages, or using tracking software to watch your movements.
- Intimidation and Threats: threatening to harm you, your children, your pets, or your property, or threatening self-harm if you try to leave.[v]
- Gaslighting and Humiliation: constantly putting you down, insulting you, or manipulating your reality so that you doubt your own memory and judgment.
The concept of coercive control has been widely referenced in recent years, particularly in light of the new Netflix docuseries, Death of the Pastor’s Wife[vi], which details the story of the death of Mica Miller, the wife of Pastor JP Miller. As a result of the docuseries and the concerns of Mica’s family, petitioners have urged the legislature in South Carolina, where these events took place, to enact “Mica’s Law.”
Mica's Law is a proposed legislative bill that would criminalize coercive control and establish legal penalties for non-physical domestic abuse, as well as clarify gray areas in the law when parties are still legally married. Thus far, the bill has stalled and not been enacted.
The Netflix series has been widely discussed and is incredibly popular on social media. It raises the important topics of when to seek help and how varied the law may be on these issues in your respective state. Currently, less than a dozen states in the United States recognize the effects and illegality of coercive control. Thankfully, New Jersey is one of those minorities.
In January 2024, New Jersey amended the Prevention of Domestic Violence Act to formally define and include coercive control. The law defines it as a pattern of behavior that unreasonably interferes with a person's free will and personal liberty.[vii]
While general coercive control is primarily addressed through civil domestic violence statutes rather than as a standalone specific criminal charge (though severe threats may fall under criminal coercion laws like N.J.S.A. 2C:13-5), it carries significant legal weight.
In New Jersey, the courts must consider evidence of coercive control when deciding whether to issue a Final Restraining Order. Physical abuse is not required to qualify for a Temporary or Final Restraining Order if a pattern of coercive control is established.
If you are a victim of coercive control, it is important to seek help. The NJ helpline can be reached at 1-800-572-SAFE (7233)[viii]. In addition, you can contact law enforcement, tell a friend, and try to safely preserve any information available to you.
An experienced family law attorney should be prepared to help you navigate these complex and sensitive issues.
[i] https://www.americanbar.org/groups/family_law/
[ii] https://www.cawc.org/news/understanding-coercive-control-in-abusive-relationships/
[iii] https://www.healthline.com/health/coercive-control
[iv] https://seethesigns.sa.gov.au/
[v] https://www.relationshipsvictoria.org.au/news/what-is-coercive-control/
[vi] https://www.netflix.com/title/81989322?trackId=259776131&trkId=259776131&src=tudum
[vii] https://www.njleg.state.nj.us/bill-search/2020/A6128/bill-text?f=A9999&n=6128_I1
[viii] https://njcedv.org/helplines/
Diana N. Fredericks, Esq., devotes her practice solely to family law matters. She is a Certified Matrimonial Law Attorney and was named to the NJ Super Lawyers Rising Stars list in the practice of family law by Thomson Reuters from 2015 through 2021, to the NJ Super Lawyers list in 2023, 2024, 2025, and 2026, and to the New Leaders of the Bar list by the New Jersey Law Journal in 2015. Contact Diana for a consultation at 908-735-5161 or via email.
If you have a suggestion for a future blog topic, please feel free to submit it via the Contact Us form.
Any statements made herein are solely for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon or construed as legal advice.