Can My Spouse Refuse to Get a Divorce?
Oct 16, 2026 | Written by: | Share
In New Jersey, a spouse does not need to consent to a divorce in order for the divorce to be granted. Your spouse cannot ultimately control whether you obtain a divorce, although his/her obstinance to the process can make it more difficult or expensive.
There are mechanisms in place to allow you to get divorced if a spouse refuses, intentionally obstructs the process, or ignores legal notices and requirements.
Specifically, once a complaint is filed formally with the court (docketed), and you have the other party served with the papers, they have 35 days to answer. Service can take place through personal acceptance and acknowledgement, or through a process server or sheriff. Once served, and if the time to file a written response expires (35 days), you can apply to the court for default. This is a relatively simple process whereby forms are filed with the court to seek entry of default (to declare the other party in default). Once granted, the court will schedule a hearing typically referred to as a Proposed Notice of Equitable Distribution, wherein you will testify and submit evidence explaining to the court why your proposed relief should be granted. Although the other party is permitted to attend the default hearing, he/she is not permitted to testify. Prior to the hearing, a defendant may move to vacate the default, which is often liberally granted (at least the first time), but counsel fees are typically awarded (as they should be) for having to go through the exercise to garner basic compliance.
If one spouse participates, but in a minimum manner so as to delay proceedings and drag out the divorce, there are some remedies available. At the beginning of a divorce, once the pleadings having been filed (complaint and answer/counterclaim), the attorneys submit, by consent, or after conference with the court, a proposed Case Management Order (CMO) that sets forth the due dates, deadlines, and court appearances in your case. By Court Rule, a CMO is issued in every divorce case (FM/dissolution docket and complex FD/non-dissolution docket). If a party does not comply with those dates, the court can address same by conference or motion hearing, and implement sanctions and other relief, particularly if they find that one party is being willfully violative of the CMO. A court can even go so far as to dismiss a party’s pleadings. This does not happen often but there are remedies provided for in the Rules.
Although it may not be easy, you will eventually be divorced if that is your desired goal and outcome, regardless of whether your spouse agrees.
Diana N. Fredericks, Esq., devotes her practice solely to family law matters. She is a Certified Matrimonial Law Attorney and was named to the NJ Super Lawyers Rising Stars list in the practice of family law by Thomson Reuters from 2015 through 2021, to the NJ Super Lawyers list in 2023, 2024, 2025, and 2026, and to the New Leaders of the Bar list by the New Jersey Law Journal in 2015. Contact Diana for a consultation at 908-735-5161 or via email.
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Any statements made herein are solely for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon or construed as legal advice.