Five Reasons to Have a Prenuptial Agreement When You Get Married
Jul 30, 2025 | Written by: | Share
There are a lot of common misconceptions about prenuptial agreements. A prenuptial agreement is an agreement that a couple enters into before their marriage. Most people know that it can address assets that each party has prior to the marriage, but some don’t realize that it can also address assets acquired during the marriage, the parties’ incomes during the marriage, and other specific issues. A prenuptial agreement can govern most or all of the issues in the event the parties separate or divorce.
Prenuptial agreements are not only for situations where one party has significantly more assets than the other when entering the marriage, or for people who have children from a prior marriage. While those are certainly situations where a prenup would be appropriate, a prenup can also address situations where one party may acquire more assets during the marriage, either through employment or from a gift or inheritance. Even though the parties may have similar incomes at the time of the marriage, one party may anticipate earning significantly more in the future than the other. For example, one party may be completing a medical residency at the time of the marriage and may expect to earn significantly more as a doctor in the future.
Many couples are reluctant to discuss prenups before they get married, as they believe it will create stress or ruin an otherwise beautiful time in preparing for a future life together. However, prenuptial agreements are an important step in the marriage process for the following reasons:
1. A prenuptial agreement replaces uncertainty with certainty.
In New Jersey, there remains much uncertainty in divorce. This leads to stress and fear of the unknown. Generally, in a divorce situation without a prenup, a seasoned divorce attorney can speculate on a settlement range or court decision. However, he or she cannot give an exact answer on custody, parenting time, equitable distribution, or alimony. Although equitable distribution in New Jersey will often end up with an equal division of assets, that is not set in stone. However, having a prenuptial agreement can address all of the issues in a divorce, providing certainty to the parties. Most people prefer certainty over uncertainty, and in a divorce situation, certainty is almost always better and less stressful.
2. A prenuptial agreement usually eliminates the litigation process.
Part of the reason divorces end up in litigation is because of the uncertainty. Each side can argue their own position on issues and have a judge make the final decision. Litigation is not only stressful, but also very expensive if you have an attorney through the litigation process. Divorce litigation can literally take years and costs hundreds of thousands of dollars. With a prenuptial agreement, assuming it was properly completed and signed voluntarily by the parties, litigation is not needed. The issues in the divorce have been resolved in the prenup. The parties do not need to spend a fortune litigating the issues because they were smart enough to enter into a prenuptial agreement when they were in love (prior to the marriage), not when they were in hate (when the marriage ended).
3. A prenuptial agreement is similar to an insurance policy.
With an insurance policy, you hope you never need it, but it is important to have it, just in case you do need it. When there is no prenuptial agreement and parties are getting a divorce, both parties potentially have some risks. It is not much different than if you were driving without car insurance or you did not have homeowners’ insurance on your house. With any type of insurance, whether it is health insurance, life insurance, homeowners’ insurance, or car insurance, you have it in place, but you hope you never need to use it. The same is true with a prenuptial agreement. It is essentially an insurance policy that will provide support (as in help with clarity and certainty, not as in financial support) in the event you get divorced. We never want to have to use insurance. We do not want to have medical issues, or to have an accident with our car, or to have damage happen to our house, but insurance provides certainty and help in the event that such unfortunate events occur. A divorce is certainly unfortunate and not something we want to think about when we are getting married, but a prenuptial agreement provides protection for both parties in the event of such an unforeseen and unfortunate situation. The same is true for having a will, although that is the subject of a separate blog.
4. If you cannot have a difficult conversation about a prenuptial agreement now, then maybe you should not get married.
Part of being married is having difficult conversations from time to time, whether that is about things we like or dislike, things that annoy us or make us upset, or discussions about children, relatives, or finances. There are countless difficult conversations we have during a marriage. We do not necessarily want to have those discussions, but if we do not have them or are unable to have those types of discussions, those types of marriages are often doomed to fail. Proper communication is one of the core tenants of a good marriage. For most couples, discussing a prenuptial agreement is a difficult conversation to have. It typically takes place when the couple is planning their wedding and their future life together. Couples do not want to ever consider the possibility that they may get divorced. However, with the divorce rate often being in the range of 50% of new marriages, is it worth it to take the risk and not have that conversation? If you cannot have that type of conversation when you are in love, during the high point of your infatuation prior to the marriage, how will you be able to have difficult conversations in stressful times during the marriage? If you are unable to discuss a prenup before you get married, you may not be suited for each other and perhaps should not get married.
5. How you treat each other in addressing a prenup can be a precursor for how you treat each other in marriage.
As noted above, immediately prior to a wedding is typically a time when parties are in love and also somewhat infatuated with each other. Discussing the details of a prenup at that time should be a situation where both parties want to be fair to each other. If either party is unable to treat the other fairly at that point, what will the marriage be like when the parties are no longer infatuated, or when they are under duress or extreme stress? How will they treat each other then? A party who is competitive and wants to “win” a prenup discussion with a heavy negotiation is likely to act that way during the marriage. It is better to know before the marriage how someone will treat you, and discussing a prenup is a good way to determine that.
If you want to explore a prenuptial agreement before you get married, please contact me and I will be happy to guide you. And if you are planning to get married and choose not to get a prenup, I wish you the best and hope you are in the 50% of marriages that do not end in divorce.
William J. Rudnik, Esq., is a partner with Gebhardt & Kiefer, PC. He is certified by the NJ Supreme Court as a Matrimonial Law Attorney. In addition to handling divorce litigation, he is qualified as a Mediator in the field of Family Law under the New Jersey Court rules, and he is trained in Collaborative Divorce. Contact Mr. Rudnik at 908-735-5161 or via email.
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Any statements made herein are solely for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon or construed as legal advice.